Getting Back RSVPs

Planning a birthday party for your child, inviting their class and then waiting for RSVPs can be more stressful than awaiting test results. It’s like a personal round of American Idol. Will the children like your child enough to bug their parents to respond to the invite? How will it affect your child’s self-esteem if only a few come back or worse, none?

How do you get back those darn RSVPs? Why don’t people return them? My guess is we are living in an age of info overload and people are basically procrastinating coach potatoes. “Later” is the mantra of our society, really, so when you give them a date, they take all that time and sometimes more. So to improve your chances, you need all possible ways to contact people – phone numbers, email addresses, street addresses if you can get them. One parent in my daughter’s class sent the invite once then a follow-up one the week of the event, which was smart because I hold on to the invites but don’t always remember to call. I’m sorry. It’s not intentional. It’s just that’s sometimes it’s hard to know if the scheduling will work or even if we’ll have money for someone else’s birthday gift that week if other stuff is going on. So let’s start with the basics. For those who don’t know and don’t want to admit they don’t know, RSVP means Respondez S'il Vous Plait. Translation – respond please! A brief history, according to How Stuff Works:

An Italian diplomat, Conte Baldassare Castiglione, wrote the first book about proper behavior among nobility in the 16th century. Many of the practices of Western etiquette, however, came from the French court of King Louis XIV in the late 17th and early 18th c­enturies. At Versailles, his palace, Louis XIV had the rules for court behavior written on what the French referred to as "tic­kets," or "étiquette." The tickets either were signs posted at Versailles or were the invitations issued to court events with the rules of behavior printed on the back; experts give different versions of the origin. And French was the language of refinement and high society through the 19th century in the United States. Judith Martin, the author of etiquette books and a syndicated newspaper columnist known as "Miss Manners," thinks that "R.S.V.P." came about as a polite way of reminding people of something that they should already know: If you receive an invitation, you should reply.

How do you get those replies? I found a few ways you can try:

If you ask guests to RSVP by a specific date, most parents will call! For the rest, you will need to get on the phone to find out who is coming. Just because a parent hasn’t responded, don’t assume their child isn’t coming to your party! And you really do need a head count for planning purposes, because you want to have enough food and party favors for every child who attends the party. When making the call, you can say something like “Hello, this is Maggie Jones. Will your son Kevin be able to join us for the birthday party this weekend?” To keep track of responses as you speak to the parents, print a copy of our guest list sheet and keep it near the phone. You should also be prepared to answer a common question from other parents, which is "what gift would your child like?" Responding with "it doesn't matter" won't help the other parent, so be ready with a few ideas. You can say something like "Thank you for asking. Jack really loves Legos, dinosaurs, and books about cars."
­ ­- Birthday in a Box

Here’s a nifty tip from Diane Pollitt, Party Guide at PartyMerchant.com via About.com:

Mail your invitations on a Wednesday! Why Wednesday you ask? If an invitation is mailed on Wednesday it is more likely to arrive at its destination on Friday or Saturday, this is the objective. Receiving the invitation on the weekend, instead of a weekday, will give your guest time to read and return your RSVP more promptly….Your party-goers will have just a little more time to deal with their social calendar, coordinate dates, travel, babysitters and other incidental details. It becomes a coordinated effort on your part that your guests will appreciate.

If you have a way to get back those RSVPs, please share!
Monica Dennis is President and Creative Director of Village Works Enterprises LLC, the makers of fun, fast and unforgettable customized jigsaw puzzles with a cultural flair!